Show Review: Red vs. Blue, Season 5

If you're anything like me, you started watching Red vs. Blue five years ago without ever having played Halo. Chances are, you're not; however, it didn't stop me from laughing my ass off when Sarge said, "how about it, Grif? El-chupa thingy?" or any other scene from seasons 1 and 2 (and mild laughter for seasons 3 and 4). I did finally play Halo this past summer, and my first order of business was to get drunk and drive around in the Warthog (well, I still call it the Puma). It was probably the one nice thing my ex ever did for me. He claims to have purchased a toy Warthog for me as a going away present back in July, but seeing as I've never actually laid eyes on this mythical gift, I can only assume his true going away present for me was sadness and a propensity for cervical cancer. Touché!

Who-ha discussions aside, I finally got around to watching season 5 on the day after new years day, when I was knee-deep in my own mucous. I hadn't laughed that hard in months. Between Tucker's alien baby, the return of Tex and Doc (and Andy the bomb, with one of the funniest lines of the entire season), another trip into the mind of Caboose, more time looping (and replicating) than you can shake a stick at, as well as Sheila and Lopez acting as awesome as ever, this season is a non-stop gut buster.

The best part of the entire season, for me, went beyond the inside jokes, for which I was more than qualified, having seen the first 2 seasons at least a dozen times. It even went beyond the alternate endings provided for us. No, it was more than that - well, it was the two things combined. The best part was the version of the ending which brought the entire show full circle from season 1 and affirmed my love for that sick bastard Church more than ever - though Grif, and his "greatest surrender ever" speech, is still my favorite moment from the whole show.

Ladies and gentlemen, if any doubt existed in your mind about season 5, please allow this review to dispel it. While seasons 3 and 4 paled in comparison to 1 and 2, you will be more than delighted with season 5, which will make you laugh - it'll make you cry - it'll make you want to change your voicemail to say, "Leave your lowdown at the ding-dong."

Enough said.