Friday, January 18, 2008

Movie Review: Death Bed: The Bed that Eats

When looking up random movies and clicking around, I discovered Death Bed: the Bed that Eats under one of those “if you like this, you’ll love this” options. I was curious, and after reading the IMDB plot summary, I simply had to see this movie. Ironically, after seeing it and talking about it, several people told me about a comedian who had done a skit about it, though he misnamed it Death Bed: the Bed that Eats People. Oh, no. It eats more than just people.

I was definitely not disappointed with this campy 70’s horror film. It truly is a movie about a bed that eats. It is divided into 4 different scenes – Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Dessert. And no, I’m not kidding. The first unlucky meal is a horny couple who just happen upon the bed…which is on the grounds of an abandoned mansion, with no people around for miles. But they just happen upon it, with a bucket of fried chicken and a bottle of wine. This is a pretty classy couple, as you can imagine.

Are you wondering how the bed eats people (and fried chicken in a bucket)? Well, I’m not going to tell you. Ok, I’ll tell a little. It involves some sort of digestive fluid being secreted and then the item being sucked into the bed. But the complete and total insanity and impossibility of the space-time continuum way this bed eats things – you’ll just have to see that for yourself.

The acting is so utterly over-the-top cheesy that you will be distracted from the amazing 70’s hairdos (and don’ts) of the actresses – and their wardrobes. There’s also a great scene detailing how the bed became so evil as well as a montage of just a few of the people it has eaten over the years. One of the victims is now trapped behind a painting in the room, and he is the narrator of this intriguing tale.

I won’t spoil the best part of the movie, but all I have to say is: skeleton hands. That scene alone, and the actor’s reaction, is enough reason to see this movie.

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