Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Movie Review: Cloverfield

To everyone who talked a bunch of shit about J.J. and Lost and Alias (I totally think that show blows, so whatever) and viral marketing and SLUSHO: eat it. Cloverfield was awesome. As far as I’m concerned, it lived up to all the hype. I understand a lot of people had a lot of problems with it. Most of these people have not seen the movie. Let me address some of the things I’ve been hearing:

1) “You don’t get to see the monster.” Uhh, really? Who told you that? Because you absolutely see the monster. Like, a dozen times. And it’s scary. The ironic thing here is that everyone is complaining that it’s not Godzilla or Cthulhu and that it’s “stupid” because it’s not a well-known monster. These are the same exact people who are complaining that there’s nothing original in Hollywood these days and that everything is a remake. This goes to show that people will complain about anything, no matter how hypocritical it makes them look.

2) “They are using 9/11 to scare people.” Well, yeah. Anything taking place in a city, with collapsing buildings, that is even remotely realistic, is going to remind us of 9/11. So should we stop making movies like that for this reason? Should we continue to do things like pull out that scene in Spider-man 2, the one that was never shown, the one that was supposed to be the original trailer, in which he strings up the robbers’ get-away helicopter in a web between the two World Trade Center towers? Yeah, let’s just shit on everything and take out anything that reminds us of that and bury it and never remember it again. Because having movies in which buildings collapse is more disrespectful than trying to pretend like it never happened.

3) “The story is not clear/undeveloped/bad/stupid/it should have been a movie about them escaping and not about them going into the city.” Wow! I didn’t realize this was the latest Francis Ford Coppola movie, or an independent movie with a deep plot, and not actually AN AMERICAN MONSTER MOVIE. What the fuck were you looking for, Casablanca? The Usual Suspects? Are you seriously going into Cloverfield with these kinds of lofty standards? Are you looking for philosophy in Godzilla? Cry me a river. Go download it off the internet, cheap bastards.

4) “The ending is bad.” The ending is what? What did you want? You knew what the ending was going to be in the very beginning when they showed you the layout of the movie. The VERY ending is actually pretty awesome, because it gives you some insight into where the monster came from (though I have heard two very different ideas that are both awesome). But seriously, it’s a monster movie. If you want to see a GOOD monster movie with a GREAT plot that will absolutely suck you in and give you everything you ever needed, rent The Host. Otherwise, for serious, shut up.

Whew. Ok. Rage abated. And if you want to read an article that is hilarious and includes major spoilers, go to Encyclopedia Dramatica. Oh, and read their write-up of the last Harry Potter book, too.


Gina said...

Perfectly sublime review of a decent flick that's getting mercilessly hammered for no legitimate reason.

Love it.

Top Daily said...

<3 - Nov

ShinigamiBillVal said...

I thought the 9/11 shit was a little more direct than just buildings collapsing. The whole thing with the dust cloud chasing people down the street and enveloping them immediately made me think "9/11" when I saw the movie.

My only complaint is more of a general complaint about J.J. Abrams. For fuck's sake, stop trying to keep me in suspense at all times. Explain something! Don't force me to go online and do puzzles and read fake e-mails and all this bullshit. Fuck viral marketing.

I get the whole thing with the limitations of the first-person perspective, and how you're supposed to see what the characters see, but god damn. I NEED MORE. The only "explanation" at the end was an ambiguous image that could be interpreted in different ways, which only one person out of my group of six even noticed in the first place. Going online and reading some jerkoff's theories shouldn't be a necessity.

But yeah, I liked the movie.

I really want to take another look at the scene where


the monster stares down Hud and eats the shit out of him.

cwiddofer said...

dood, i don't care if they want to use viral marketing techniques or whatever. but abrams tends to produce drivel that continually becomes more convoluted.

ooo, suspense. i'm shaking in my boots. srsly.

all i can say is that if you want to give your money away for something that doesn't lead anywhere and won't give you anything in return other than a way to kill time, be my guest.

Kevin said...

So, the whole concept & plot of the movie were very cool, however I have one major gripe.....

Despite knowing that the whole premise was "this was filmed by some dude on his own video camera", I just can't handle the shitty camera-work.... sure, it's artsy and maintains the premise (and maybe this makes me sound like I'm 80 years old) -- but my eyes just can't handle that crap -- also it prevented me from feeling really drawn into the movie, since I had to keep squinting and turning my head to try to figure out "what am I looking at?".

If they come out with a companion-film "Cloverfield filmed in the 3rd Person", I think I'd really love it!