Thursday, January 17, 2008

Movie Review: White Noise 2: The Light

I wanted to watch White Noise 2: The Light (which I have been affectionately referring to as “WHITE NOISER”) for one main reason: because Nathan Fillion was in it. (This is also the reason I own Slither, which is something I will never regret. Thanks, Gina!) Yes, I did enjoy the first White Noise, but for me, it was scarier - but not as quality as - I'd hoped it would be. (I'd spoil it with my one major problem with the movie, but I don't want to be “that guy.”) Anyway, the first white noise wasn't bad, and while the trailer for the second movie made it look awesome, I tried not to get my hopes up - especially because I can't stand “the new” Starbuck, so much so that I refuse to learn the actress’s name. While the special effects and performance of Fillion were both up to par, the forced plot and general cheesiness of the movie (the ending is a crapshoot) made it definitely not one I'd recommend.

The movie starts out in a rather banal fashion - Fillion's got a loving wife, an adorable son, a house in the suburbs, and a watch with a typical message of love stamped on it. This all ends rather abruptly when his wife - who has been acting rather peculiarly - is suddenly and purposefully shot by a stranger who has marched into the diner looking for them. He kills Fillion's wife and son before apologizing to Fillion and then turning the gun on himself. What? What is going on here? No one is really sure – possibly not even the actors, who seem bewildered to be immersed in such a poor plot.

After the funerals, Fillion tries to kill himself. He is on his way to his wife and son (they literally show this part in a sort-of cheesy montage into "the light") but he is brought back from the dead at the hospital. After he recovers, he starts seeing weird things on television and computer screens with EVP (Electronical Voice Phenomenon) and he also begins to see what his doctor calls "auras" around people. Whenever he sees one of those auras, he later learns that person died. So he starts to try to save the people he sees the auras around. So this movie is not actually based on the “white noise” – which he can SEE, and doesn’t need to record and play back – but rather, these auras, or “the light.” Fancy.

Well, all of this predictably goes far more horribly than he could ever imagine. We eventually discover not only why the stranger kills his wife and son (a lead he gets by connecting the man's mysterious appearance in one of his son's videos with his own experience in saving people). The plot becomes a bit corny at this point. ("At this point?!?!" the crowd roars.) I'll leave the rest to your imagination, though if you want to know both the twist and the ending, I'd be more than happy to leave them in the comments.

In short: Fillion is awesome, and always worth watching in anything, so if you're like me, go for it. (Whoever said that Fillion was going to be the next Bruce Campbell, I am a staunch believer now.) But other than that, use your rental for something else - like possibly Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (no, it’s NOT called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People), or even Volcano High (both coming soon).

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