I had a pretty rough anxiety attack last night. The research I've done, plus what I've discussed in therapy, added to my reflections on what has sparked these attacks before, have lead me to believe that I understand what caused it. Mike is down the shore - has been since Tuesday. I'm joining him tonight or tomorrow. But in the meantime, I have (previously inexplicable) anxiety, which I now think is because I hold my idea of safety closely tied to the person I'm dating. It also explains some of why my relationships move so fast.
This is all just speculation, but it feels like I'm unravelling a complex knot.